my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
