OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i permit you to call me
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
