Best friends brother. Beat that.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
