i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
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