why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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