PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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