Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize