i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
