we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
