I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize