are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
