What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
