Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
too bad you live with your parents still
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
