You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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