i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
