i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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