So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
