You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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