Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
