Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
