my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
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