Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
