Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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