She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize