so that wasnt chicken after all
My cat gives me a boner
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
