Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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