I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
