Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
