I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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