How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
