I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
