I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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