Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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