I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
