i don't like sucking hair
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
