so that wasnt chicken after all
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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