Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
