My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
