hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
My ass is underappreciated
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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