4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
