Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
