How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize