Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
