He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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