Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
