dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
