On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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