And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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