At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Use "feeling words"
Yay
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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