i jhust puked up my retainher.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize