if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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