even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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