God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
