your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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