Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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