I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
