Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I'm always down for nudity.
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