I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize
