Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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