Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Actions speak louder than pants.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
