I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
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