I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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