Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize