On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
