I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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