Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize